Counseling; Leaving God Out
Counseling has many problems if Christ is not the Corner Stone. To often good intentions are forsaken for quick results.
Most counseling begins with trying to solve a problem. This may sound well and give a good feeling to a person, couple or family that is being counseled. Yet after exacting large amounts of money from one’s pocket or insurance company usually things are worse off than they were in the beginning.
Before I go on I will not paint every counselor as out of step with God. This post is for those that may seek counseling to end sin within themselves, their marriage or the home. I will point out the pit falls so that one may make a clear decision in which way to go through prayer.
Let us look at a few reasons this holds true. 1. The Counseling of men uses many potions to come to a compromise for those who are involved. These are some of those potions; two hand fulls of education, a hand full of compromise, A large pinch of how do you feel about the matter, two dashes of works, a pinch of light talk, and a dash of God.
The problem with education is that it categorizes the heart, mind and soul of a person. I.e. Bob has a type “A” personality and Susan is type “B”. Therefore putting at odds the couple that is in consoling. This first principal puts the second into action.
If people are different then there must be a compromise between the two people so that they can be compatible. This goes against the principle that two people become one when married. Therefore the flesh and its feelings are dealt with. Starting with the childhood of the couple and ending with the present day. In the end the couple may have been diagnosed and given a little advice.
Yet over all the power of God has been neglected.
I say this plainly; How you feel about a matter, is not important. What is important is how God feels about a matter. We as Christians don’t have rights, we have duties. We are to serve not to be served.
If a couple is counsuling with someone, they must ask this question,”Do you pray for us.”
Don’t ask this question until after about four or five cessions with the counselor.
Know this; If a person is not praying for you, they will not receive spiritual answers from the Holy Spirit to the spiritual problems that are facing you. They will usually resort to trying to solve spiritual problems with physical answers.
If they answer no, leave. Your just wasting time and money.
Counseling; With God
Have you ever been asked by a counselor, “Where do you stand with God?”
The problem with most marriages is where the husband and wife stand with God. If both parties have a good standing in Christ, nothing is impossible. Luke 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible.
Counseling with God requires one thing from a couple, humility. Even at its best, prayer will fail if one or both parties does not have humility.
And what is humility? Willingness to be changed into what God desires one to be at the cost of ones own plans.
If two people don’t have a good prayer life before consoling, they should begin to have one before stepping a foot into a counselors office. It is simple, if two people can’t pray together in the spirit, they will inhibit the spirits ability to begin the healing process. If this is the case, they will out of frustration begin to try and physically heal or begin to pull from one another.
Prayers between two people will begin to knit them together. Will soften their hearts and will show them their own short comings. That is if they pray together to not change the other but to be changed by the Lord.
Pain, separates all too often, and prayer is the last thing that people in pain think upon. Yet, this we know. What we do not want to do for the Kingdom of God and our loved ones. Is what God requires us to do. To let go of hatred is much harder, than to grasp love in many cases.
It is a good suggestion that both people pray alone for a little time before they come together. Then listen to some worship music for a time. Then come together in Christ. Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Hard hearts need change and stiff necks need bending.
While praying alone, it is a good time to examine “What is my sin in this”. And looking within one’s own heart to see clearly that Christ is the only cure to sin.
A counselor may assist anyone to resolve problems somewhat through compromise. But a wise counselor will guild people towards the cross. Showing them that through shame, comes repentance and by repentance we are reconciled to Christ and our spouse.
Counseling; What Is Your Marriage Worth?
Most marriages fail due to there being very little value placed on the marriage. And what is value? It is a measurement.
Two pieces of dirt the same size may have a great difference in value, due to how fertile the soil is. A marriage is valued on what is produced within the hearts of the home.
It is a good question to ask, “What do I value?” And this should be what a saint holds in high regard. That he puts those things that come from above, over those things that are here below. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
For if Christ loves the sparrows and one should not fall without the Father, how much more should we love our spouse more than ourselves?
All to often, the smallest of foxes will tear down the walls of the home. It should not be so, especially since we are under Christ, and a witness to the world by our actions. (Good or evil.)
Ladies, I write to your hearts, has pain stolen your love, then, pray to God, For this I know, You will find what you are looking for. Does your husband do those things that are against God? Then ask him to pray with you, and pour your love upon him. Would if he turns from you. Then pray and love him. Let God be his judge!
It must be thought out through the spirit, is my marriage worth fighting for? I say through the spirit, because the flesh is not willing to do the things of the spirit. Romans 8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
Not only shall we live in the next life but through Christ we shall put life into things that are dying. Therefore let us put on Christ, that our homes should live and not die.
Counseling; Sin Must Be Done Away With
I believe with all my heart that the majority of marriages that end, don’t end because of problems. They end because of sin.
A wise counselor will see a married couple as one. Mark 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. And it will be his spiritual desire that they stay as one.
Sin, is the cause of troubles between two people and this the wise man knows. Therefore his first concern will be the state of their spiritual place with God. For can thistles give fruit? Matthew 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
The first thing a godly counselor will do is try to shore up the spiritual condition of the marriage. (This should be done in the home first and foremost.)
One of the things that must be done is this. That both parties understand their own sins within themselves. And quite judging the faults of the other. Its not our job to change the hearts of men, its our job to guild them nor is it our job to put a time limit on men.
There are very few cases that only one person is at fault in all matters.
This must be considered; What does all the evil that has been done to me matter if I stay in the righteousness of God for the sake of the greater things of God.
Will your grand children’s children know the evils that have been done to you? They will not if you always have the countenance of love upon your lips. For love is greater than hatred.
Your actions through this life will ripple through time for generations. Long after you are gone, the things that you do today will guild others. And they will usually magnify those decisions for better or worse.
Counseling; The Christians Responsibility
Godly advice, is like a well in a desert. It gives life in the most hopeless of situations, but comes up out of the earth by honesty.
To the shame of most Christians, most problems within a marriage come from three sources, infidelity, lack of control of money and one thinking to much of one’s self, (pride).
The source of pride that I speak of is this; thinking that one is so right, that they will think upon that way unto destruction of all things within their own heart and the hearts around them at all cost.
This is called “Cutting off the head to save the thumb.”
Compromise is not the answer to any sin. As sugar is not the cure for the diabetic.
A godly man can share with those in trouble, their lives are out of control, their home is a wreak and that their must be a complete turn of practices within their own hearts or all is hopeless. And if he is sharing with two Christians, he or she will be thanked. Proverbs 28:23 He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.
Prayer is an essential tool for the rebuilding of any temple. And when two people pray, they should ask themselves, “How does God see the matter.” In other words, “We think to much of ourselves and not enough on the things of God.”
For was it not by only one man sin entered into all men. And was it not by a small minority of people, that lasciviousness became the standard of living by nearly all men in this nation.
Yet is it not possible through Christ that by a few doing the righteous works of God by faith, can make the majority of people turn again to Christ?
Yes you as a Christian have a great responsibility; And one of them is to put your own thinking to the side and put on the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16 For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? but we have the mind of Christ.
Counseling; A Final Word “GOD”
This may sound impossible, but it works and our marriage is proof. We have a wonderful marriage and a beautiful family. Before considering going to someone for help, you may want to go to God.
I say this with soundness. The God who created the universe can heal your wounds and bring great life into your home. Seek Him out and he will come. The Lord is in the mist of any two who pray. So why not test the spirits and ask Him To be the great “Mediator” between the two of you.
What wound is so great that God cannot heal it. What Stone in a house is so heavy that God cannot move it. Who can pray and deny the power of God to heal that which has been bruised?
Is your house so destroyed that God cannot rebuild it. Did not Christ rebuild the temple in three days. Can he not rebuild your temple of marriage?
What is heavier than a sick heart? A heart without hope Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
How is it that your heart is without hope? For you claim Christ and He is our hope. For hope is faith and without faith all things are dead. For this is the problem with people they cannot see past their own flesh. But if they hand their lives over to the hand of God by faith they will have hope. And with hope nothing is impossible.
Yes we have God and he is gentle. He waits, therefore meet with Him at the table of peace. Come and eat the fruit of the spirit, share your tears with Him together and go through, pain, suffering, and the destruction of the flesh together.
Be made one by God, be put together by Christ and be single-minded through the Holy Spirit.
Come to God together and tell Him of your woes. For who is greater than God. Seek God in this time of need, be pulled together in this hour of need and know that God is all-powerful. Capable of removing what no man can move, giving what no man can give.
Quit your back stabbing and cry out to God, be merciful to one another, be uplifting and know that God knows all things. For was not God merciful to all men?
Will we not tremble when are in the sight of God, Let us therefore tremble now and consider with prayers and fasting, what God thinks upon the matter! Amen.